HOW TO DEAL WITH LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

December 12, 2018
If you meet someone you love at a young age, it is possible that you may spend an extended amount of time away from your partner. University, travelling, work obligations etc. Being unable to physically see your partner isn't easy, although much easier now than it was several years ago thanks to modern technology...  it allows us to stay close to the ones we love... kinda.

I have learnt a lot from having a long-distance partner, and there is one absolute key thing in order to make it work. If you can't be bothered to read the rest of this post just know this.
The only way it will work, is if you trust each other. 

Yep, trust. Without trust, it is going to make being apart so much more difficult than it needs to be.

So, here is my situation, and my advice to anyone who is currently in a long distance relationship or will be soon, or just interested.



So I am currently in month number 3 of being apart from my boyfriend, with at least two more full months to go. Sad times. The day he left, I cried my eyes out and left mascara marks on him from all my tears (I probably snotted on you too, sorry Ben). It actually felt like the end of the world, and 2019 seemed so so so SOOOOO far away. My heart actually ached inside for days.

BUT - once he got to New Zealand, life carried on like normal, work was busy... I began to get back into a routine (and much more time to hit the gym, hehe). I missed him like crazy, and although he warned me before he left that he may not be able to speak to me every day, he made the effort to. This leads me to my first point:

Communication 
We are so lucky that we have the power to text or call someone from the other side of the world - make use of this!!! However, it is not healthy to be in constant contact - or else what would you even talk about? Give updates, tell them funny things about your day, laugh about in-jokes you have but you don't need to tell them every single thing you're doing with your day. Enjoy the times you do get to speak to each other, and look forward to them. Also - ensure you don't ONLY text. Hearing my boyfriends voice is a million times better than reading some words he's sent on WhatsApp; I get the whole message. Sometimes text messages can be misinterpreted, be warned.

Time for you 
I always knew I was going to have to endure an extended amount of time away from Ben, boyfriend or not. So I kinda felt prepared that I was going to have some time without him. He always tells me to see the positive in situations so I did, and I took this time to better myself. I spent more time in the gym, I made better habits, I made sure I saw my friends lots, I spent more time with my family and I put in extra hours at work. I don't have to worry about making my schedule sync with someone else's, and I also don't have to constantly worry about getting a boyfriend because I have one! While I would give anything to be with my boyfriend, it is nice not having to worry about clashing family/friend events and the little things too (I don't have to shave my legs much at the moment...!)

Look to the future 
Well, I am going to assume that you wouldn't remain in a long-distance relationship with someone if you don't see a future with them (if you don't then what you doing lol). So plan things that you and your partner have to look forward when you do see each other. Be it little things like watching a certain TV series on Netflix together, to a weekend away. Or even bigger things! You're not going to be apart forever, but you can potentially dream about a life together which is very exciting. Its worth the wait and look forward to creating memories with the person you miss!

Romance 
okay I don't exactly mean romance for this section, but what I mean is keep the passion for each other. Sext! Everyone does it anyway so not going to beat around the bush here (excuse the pun lol). But keep the romance alive by sending each other naughty messages every now and then, maybe pictures too if you're into that! While going literally abstinent, it is important you both feel wanted so tell them what you want to do to them- and don't skimp on the details. I am pretty certain he/she will love to hear whatever you have to say.


Have your partners best interest in mind 
I am a firm believer that relationships should enhance your life and not hinder it. Inevitably, some days will be better than others, so don't take it out on your partner. It is very hard to know the person you love is upset, and there is nothing you can do but be on the phone to them. So I am not saying don't tell them when something is wrong, be open with them about what's going on but don't hold them accountable and don't make them feel bad for not being there for you. Besides, you can't rely on one other peson for your happiness. So when you've had a bad day, make sure you don't make your partner feel guilty about not being there to comfort you, and know that they would be if they could!


So, there is my brain dump of my advice for being in a long-distance relationship. One huge perk is that I am so excited to see my boyfriend again, I think it may go down in histroy as one of the best days ever in my entire life which is pretty exciting. Life is a journey, and it has its ups and downs and even if you're partner isn't physically by your side, they still are right by your side in every other way possible.

What are your thoughts on long-distance relationships? I'd love to know!








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